Microcotton 3-Piece Towel Set

Yeah yeah, they’re thick and absorbent. Great.

Let’s get down to brass tacks. How are these things for poppin’?

I’m a man with special tastes, Mr. Valeberg, and I’ll be honest: I wouldn’t even consider this Microcotton 3-Piece Towel Set if I hadn’t heard of its unparalleled popping properties.

Nothing compares to the exquisite “SNAP!” of a cotton towel on exposed buttock in the locker room, wouldn’t you agree? The squeals of surprise and cries of agony ice my cake of pain, Mr. Valeberg.

So I’ll consider your towels, provided I can test them. On you. Your skin will bear the pleat marks of the damned, Mr. Valeberg. Of that I can assure you.

 

Warranty: None

Condition: New

Features:

• Soft microcotton towel set includes bath towel, hand towel, and wash cloth
• These towels boast 700 GSM (grams per square inch), which exceed the industry standard of 500-600 GSM; higher GSM indicates more loops per strand of cotton fiber which allows quicker absorbency and faster drying time as well as increased durability
• Bath towel is 30” x 58”
• Hand towel is 16” x 30”
• Wash cloth is 13” x 13”

In the box:

• Microcotton 3-Piece Towel Set includes (1) Bath Towel, (1) Hand Towel and (1) Wash Cloth(Choose One Color: Eggplant, Pink, Yellow, Lime, Indigo, Garnet, Lilac, Silver OR Ivory)