iRobot Scooba Floor Washing Robot

Based On Actual Science Textbooks Approved By The Texas Board Of Education

They say the Grand Canyon took a thousand Irish washerwomen ten thousand days to scrub from the Colorado stone.

Since 1932, the majestic Grand Canyon has been one of America’s greatest man-made creations. Each year, literally dozens of tourists take the time to go and stare and eat concessions. That’s right, concessions. Just a hot dog and a coke is like $22.50. See what the power of water can do for you?

Of course, if you had to pay a thousand Irish washerwomen to work ten thousand hours these days, you’d be flat broke. What with insurance, medical care, minimum wage, who needs it? That’s why real corporations are moving to robots… and you can too! With a iRobot Scooba Floor Washing Robot set to scrub a tiny space non-stop, you too can have your very own profitable concession stand!

The iRobot Scooba Floor Washing Robot can navigate itself through a room, scrubbing tile, linoleum or sealed hardwood. When properly used, the iRobot Scooba Floor Washing Robot is a great way to keep your floor shining. But who cares about “proper” when people will pay ten bucks for a pack of corn chips? Mod out that robot and let it burn down to the core!

An iRobot Scooba Floor Washing Robot will let you harness the cleansing power of water without the trouble of work. All you need then is patience. It won’t happen overnight, but with new medical technology and a proper diet, a person can live almost forever. And two hundred years from now, thanks to inflation, those hot dogs are going to be like EIGHTY DOLLARS EACH! You’d be stupid NOT to try!