Even On The Final Frontier
Commander’s Log: Ever since we found the cryo-ship, we’ve been looking forward to meeting these 21st Century humans. And now, at last, we may have our chance! For one of them… is awake!
“Yaaaawn! Whoa, hey, this isn’t Johns Hopkins Cryo-Lab!”
“Welcome to the 24th Century, Mr. Noonian.”
“Wow! Hey, am I on a spaceship? Are you in charge? And how’d you know my name?”
“Really, I just guessed. You’d be surprised how often I can get that one right. Anyway, go slow, okay? You just jumped forward like 300 years, you’re gonna need some time to… what are you doing to the computer?”
“Is that a PC? Or a Mac? I really need to check in with my Slingbox Solo and Turbolink Bundle. I left it running just in case, but 300 years? I bet there’s a lot for me to catch up on.”
“I.. I don’t understand. You say it’s some sort of… sling? A weapon of some kind?”
“No, a Slingbox Solo and Turbolink Bundle. It’s like… okay, picture a space ship full of people. Right?”
“Sure, we’ve got those all over the place.”
“Great. Now, imagine out of all those people, you want to be friends with like six of them. And two want to meet you at the same time, while another is only free when you’re on duty.”
“Sounds like a serious problem. But I must say, you certainly know how to talk to people.”
“Thank you! Well, the Slingbox Solo and Turbolink Bundle allows you to ‘time-shift’ those people so you can hang out with them whenever you want. Except instead of people, it’s entertainment! And you can access this entertainment from anywhere in the universe! Assuming, of course, you have a Mac or PC around.”
“Well, Mr. Noonian, we’ve got our android here, he’s compatible with your old-fashioned 21st Century protocols… NOW what are you doing?”
“I’m connecting! See, back home in my apartment, my Slingbox Solo is connected to the Turbolink Bundle. It turns my electrical outlet into a network hub. I’ve got four free ports I can use, but I really only needed one. So with the Turbolink Bundle in place, I’ve got high-speed internet going through my wiring, and that works just fine with my home router! And that’s how I get to the Slingbox Solo!”
“But, Mr. Noonian, are you sure your apartment is still there?”
“Well, duh. You guys don’t use money any more, right? No money means no rent and no bills and no debt collectors harassing people 24/7, so who’s gonna bother to evict me? Who’s gonna pull the plug? In fact… yeahhhh, boy! That’s it! It all works and now I’m watching my Slingbox Solo and Turbolink Bundle! C’mon, get closer and watch! You got any space popcorn or something?”
“Is that… 21st Century media we’re watching?”
“It sure is! I plugged in everything I had before I left. My Slingbox Solo connects to a Cable box, aDVR, a DVD player, Apple TV, Windows Media Center, even a Satellite… hm, that’s funny.”
“What’s funny?”
“Well… my satellite seems to be asking me these weird questions about philosophy. Have you guys had a problem with technology coming to life?”
“Yeah, happens about twice a week. We’ve even got a code for it in the paperwork. Saves time.”
“Okay, well, guess we can’t watch the satellite. But I can get to the TV shows just fine. Looks like there’s some old Hogan’s Heroes reruns waiting for me. Want to watch those?”
“Sure! What’s it about?”
“It’s a comedy set in a Nazi prison camp. Funny stuff!”
“A comedy set in a what? Well. I must say, Mr. Noonian, the 21st Century seems to be quite a different place from my time.”
“Yeah, you haven’t heard the half of it. Does your computer have anything about the name ‘Snooki’?”
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