Kodak EasyShare 12MP Digital Camera with 5x Optical Zoom

‘Til Lulz Do Us Part

“Young lady, ever since your mother died I’ve been looking for someone who can make me happy. Now I’ve found her. You may disapprove, but you will respect my new wife.”

“She doesn’t love you, Dad. She loves your money.”

“Rebecca! Take that back this instant or I swear, I’ll-”

“It’s true! Everyone knows it! I’m just the only one with the guts to say anything. A man your age-”

“What about a man my age? A man my age could never attract a beautiful young 12-megapixel camera, right? Oh, no, a withered old fossil like me could never satisfy a camera with a 5x optical zoom. Is that what you mean?”

“Dad, I know her type. I know her. She tells you she’ll love you forever, but when the next guy comes along with $69.99, she’ll be out that door in 1/1400 of a second. Go down to the electronics store on any Saturday night. You’ll see flashy cameras just like her, showing off their 2.7” LCDs to anybody who’ll look. Cameras like her, they have no shame.”

“She’s not like that! Not my Kodak EasyShare! She loves me! And how would you know, anyway? You’ve never exchanged so much as two words with her.”

“Dad, I… I didn’t want to say this, but… well, I found this 32GB SDHC card (sold separately) in your computer.”

“You went snooping in my computer? How dare you?”

“I know, I know, but look. This JPG is one of the files I found.”

“That’s… that’s me! But… but that was supposed to be a, a private moment. I didn’t even know she was taking pictures. But anyway, what’s the harm? Lovers take pictures of each other all the time.”

“I checked her browsing history, Dad. She’s been putting that picture everywhere. People seem to think it’s hilarious – if ‘people’ is even the right terms for the subhumans who laugh at an old man… doing that.”

“No… no, it can’t be. Can it? Why would she…? I mean, why?”

“I’m sorry, Dad, but better you hear it from me. Your wife – that beautiful young Kodak EasyShare who always tells you how she loves dignified older men like you – she’s turned you into a meme.”