Screaming Monkey with Woot Cape

It’s time we stood up for ourselves!

Besides, those stupid lions will never know the difference.

Guys, I’m telling you this problem will never go away unless we have the courage to take a stand! Every day those lions come strolling by and every day we have to stop everything we’re doing and scamper up into the trees chattering our warning calls. I’m sick of it! You know how long I have to wait by the watering hole just to make sure there’s not a crocodile or python or something waiting to eat me?

I finally get a cool, refreshing sip of water and before it’s even down my gullet here comes some bed-headed weirdo with a superiority complex and everyone’s got to scram. It’s not right!

That’s why I’ve procured these leopard skin outfits. We’re going to dress in these and take those lions head on!

What? Of course lions are going to be terrified of leopards. Have you ever seen a leopard? They’re horrifying. I don’t care who’s mortal enemies with what. The fact is when that big stupid lion sees dozens of tiny screeching leopards descending from the canopy he’s going to wet himself.

There’s no way this could possibly go wrong!

 

Warranty: None!

Features:

• Slingshot-like rubber arms
• Professed 50-foot flight range
• Majestic cape features equally majestic Woot logo
• Screams like the souls of the damned stretching on the racks of Hades